


Corporal Mustang

by Serpensortia_parapluie



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Crush, Swearing, de-aged Roy Mustang, hand-wavey alchemy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-22 02:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12471600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serpensortia_parapluie/pseuds/Serpensortia_parapluie
Summary: Mustang falls victim to a disgruntled attacker using an experimental array that de-ages him back to when he was a corporal.





	Corporal Mustang

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in a handwavey time, five~ years after the Promised Day. Ed might still have his automail and alchemy, Because Reasons. Roy spends a good portion of the fic commenting on Ed’s looks, but that’s hormones and he’d have done the same with Riza if he’d spent the time with her and nothing comes of it. Ed's very striking, that's all. Picture him in his twenties.  
> This is a de-aging fic, and please take note that if I were following the rules of alchemy in _Fullmetal Alchemist_ , I don’t think such a thing would be possible- it most definitely would fall under the umbrella of ‘human transmutation’ and would involve a toll paid to the Truth and therefore quite a lot of trauma at the very least- but I wanted to write a de-aged fic where the subject was not reduced to childhood and had been reading a lot of FMA fic, so here we are.  
> I also don’t understand military ranks. My apologies if I messed that up. I also tried to give the team promotions, so they might be off.  
> I do not own nor am I associated with the owners of _Fullmetal Alchemist_ , nor do I approve of sharing my work on third-party sites like Goodreads. Constructive criticism is appreciated.

He sat, back ramrod straight and trembling with excitement and trepidation, where a very pretty lady who looked much like he imagined an older Riza would look had ordered him to. He’d tried a little harmless flirting with the blonde to try and wrangle some information out of her and been rewarded with the single most withering look he’d ever seen on another human. He’d shut his mouth and perched himself on the chair behind him real quick.

If he wasn’t wrong, his alacrity amused her.

Speaking of intimidating and gorgeous blonds, a young man slightly older than himself had swept into the office and through the quietly worrying aides like a hurricane, much to Roy’s pleasure.

“C’mon, break it up guys, let me through- wow. Shit-damn.” The young man with the very sharp jawline shoved his way past the other blond man with an unlit cigarette dangling from the edge of his mouth and his little group of lower-rank personnel grouped by the doors, all wearing faces suited for a visit at a funeral parlor.

He broke through the gloomy group like a ray of sunlight through heavy clouds, golden hair and eyes and strength of will gleaming too much to be denied access to wherever he so pleased. He stood in front of Roy, who sat there contained unto himself, keeping his mouth tightly shut in the face of all the unfamiliar superior officers.

Gold eyes narrowed, then flit over him head to toe in a brief inspection. The man spoke again while still holding an intimidating amount of eye contact with Roy, but definitely not to him.

“Fu- _fucking_ Bastard’s fucking fucked up the fuck now?”

The Captain, who still unnervingly reminded him of an adult Riza, said, “ _Sir _,” in a tone of voice so dry, you’d have to cross it to get to Xing.__

__“Yeah, yeah, I got it- d’ya still got that array they used?” he asked, waving a casual gloved hand in the air, spectacular eyes still narrowed on Roy as he displayed a marked disregard for proper grammar._ _

__He was almost insultingly casual, in fact. From the way he talked, walked, and dressed, he should be a civilian, but as he wandered away from Roy’s seat to have a pow-wow with the Riza-look-alike in the far corner of the office, it was clear to see he wasn’t._ _

__There was no way that this many officers respected just an ordinary civilian the way they clearly did this man, younger than them all. Roy tried to add up the facts he had to figure out just who this man was._ _

__One, he was almost certainly in the military, given the ease in which he navigated a room full of military personnel, located somewhere in the depth of a military compound._ _

__Two, there was the fact that as he’d entered, the man with the cigarette had muttered a sincere, “Glad to see you, Boss.” So was he in charge of this unit? Perhaps he was called in on an off-day, which would explain the lack of uniform._ _

__Might explain the irritation and foul mouth, as well. Roy knew he hated to be called in when he had a rare day off. He was far too low-ranked to get away with complaining too much about it though._ _

__Three, the man’s hair was blond and tied back in a high ponytail. His eyes were gold and expressive even narrowed in anger, and he had a cowlick that kept bouncing with every frustrated nod of his head. He had a jaw you could cut yourself on, slouched as he walked, wore combat boots, leather pants, and a maroon jacket with ease._ _

__He looked like he should be getting into bar-fights, not whispered conversations in corners with Captain Lookalike in a military office. More like someone dragged in for disorderly conduct than an officer. If it wasn’t for the gleam of silver at his hip and the advanced alchemy theorems flying from his lips, loud enough to be heard across the room, Roy never would have been able to place him as a State Alchemist._ _

__Roy was studying to take the State Alchemist test soon himself, mostly review of things he’d already learned from Master Hawkeye, with a little bit of extra studying to help round out his skill set. And lots of practicing of fire alchemy too, of course. He’d been lucky not to lose more than his eyebrows last time. He needed to work on his control._ _

__He’d been sure that he would be the youngest State Alchemist on record, but if Roy was right and this young man was a State Alchemist, it looked like he’d been beat before he’d begun and he still didn’t even have a name to go along with the attractive face._ _

__He strained his ears as best he could without making it obvious he was earnestly listening in to the conversation in the corner, but he only caught a few muttered phrases here and there and only then because the rest of the office was so quiet, clearly listening in as well._ _

__“-definitely an attack, alchemical in nature-”_ _

__“-can’t even go out of town for a damn week before the damn bastard’s-”_ _

__“-purpose unclear-”_ _

__Roy kept his eyes down, glued to his hands wrapped around each other in his lap. He didn’t know what to make of the information he was gaining, but if there was anything his sort-of mother had taught him, it was to gather as much information as possible in an unknown situation before making as well-informed a decision about a course of action as possible. And then act, with conviction._ _

__Hopefully, at the very least, somebody would use another person’s name and he might start connecting them with faces. If nothing else, that would be nice to know._ _

__“-definitely a physical component-”_ _

__“-irreversible? Falman and Breda managed to subdue-”_ _

__“-fuckin’ _better_ not be, s’got a fucking _job_ to do, the slacker- I’ll figure it out-”_ _

__“-will need to watch him-”_ _

__“Oh, _hell_ no-”_ _

__“-be able to observe for any-”_ _

__“-but-!”_ _

__“ _Sir._ ”_ _

__And so it seemed whatever they’d argued about was settled, as the not-Riza smiled just so, one hand on the handle of the gun at her hip._ _

__“ _FINE!_ ” the State Alchemist yelled, throwing his hands up in defeat before spinning on his heel to stomp loudly and unevenly over to where Roy was still quietly sitting, wondering if he’d forgotten something important. Other than how he got there in the first place. Something was niggling at the back of his memory, but what was it?_ _

__Roy was jolted from his musing by the still unnamed State Alchemist to say, “Mustang, you’re with me for now until I get this damn array figured out and you back to normal. Gotta problem with that?”_ _

__Clearly, the answer was no if he knew what was good for him, and he was curious as to what he meant by getting Roy ‘back to normal’, but he had to ask first- “And you are?”_ _

__The silence that followed that was almost as terrible as when he had first found himself in this office, surrounded by strangers, but not nearly as long or as awkward. “Edward Elric. Fullmetal Alchemist.”_ _

__“Ah,” Roy rose from the chair, offering a hand to shake instead of saluting, a habit he had yet to break from civilian life. “Corporal Roy Mustang, at your service, Major.”_ _

__“Colonel Elric.” The terrifying woman in the corner corrected. It seemed that somehow, Elric had managed to rise above the automatic rank of Major given to all State Alchemists, despite his disregard for proper military protocol. However, regardless of rank, it was clear who ruled this office._ _

__Roy didn’t break eye contact with Colonel Elric as he smiled his most debonair grin at the Colonel and was rewarded with a threatening baring of the teeth in a facsimile of a pleasant smile. “My mistake.”_ _

__

__Later, after he was briefed with a story that had more holes in it than a sieve, he learned that he was now expected to follow Colonel Elric around like wet on water until further notice, for reasons it was deemed best not to tell him. He was involved, but evidently, he didn’t have the clearance to know what exactly had happened to him._ _

__He was told that there had been some kind of alchemical mishap that had backfired onto Roy, which is why he had no idea where he was, who the other officers were, or how he’d gotten there. Colonel Elric would be investigating to see if there were any other negative effects and how to reverse them in the event that there were any._ _

___What_ ‘negative effects’ there already were, Roy would like to know. He knew asking would be fruitless. He hadn’t been in the military long; was barely past boot camp, but he was already sadly familiar with the chain-of-command and the phrase _need to know_. Generally, as a corporal, he did _not_ ‘need to know’._ _

__Roy expected to be assigned temporary quarters in the dorms, but instead it was decided that he would be staying with Colonel Elric until further notice. The man in question had gone around the room and gotten a written report from every person present, a stack of papers from all of the officers with sad attempts at drawing an array on them. He then affirmed that the attacker was in lock-up, and turned abruptly to go._ _

__Roy was a little stuck on there being an attacker in the first place. Surely, if there was someone _attacking_ , the whole incident was less of a mishap and more of a deliberate action taken against his person. Which was bewildering for a whole slew of other reasons, first being who on earth would want to attack him? His military career was only just beginning and he had no enemies yet, nor had he yet qualified for State Alchemist. No bitter rivals from that quarter. Yet._ _

__

__It was near seven in the evening when they finally left the office. Colonel Elric seemed to have almost forgotten that Roy was to be staying with him, as he stormed his way across town to a hole-in-the-wall establishment without acknowledging him once, and startled slightly once after he’d thrown himself down at a booth and Roy stood at attention next to him._ _

__“What the fuck are you waiting for, an engraved invitation? Sit down!”_ _

__Roy sat across from the constantly irate Colonel. His eyes flashed a most appealing gleam when he was riled, and Roy knew he shouldn’t try to make him angry just so they’d flash, but oh, he wanted to. It was very tempting to try and find a way to tease him._ _

__There were menus lying on the table, and Colonel Elric was already flipping through one. Roy had done a subtle check earlier, and he appeared to be missing his wallet, so he kept his hands folded in his lap and tried very hard to not look like he was staring hungrily at the food on a nearby table while firmly ordering his stomach not to rumble._ _

__A very pretty waitress made her way over shortly to ask, “Are you two ready to order?”_ _

__After delivering a truly astoundingly large order, the Colonel’s gold eyes slanted to him. “Well?”_ _

__“Hm?”_ _

__Colonel Elric huffed. “What’s your order, dumbass?”_ _

__Roy shrugged helplessly. “I seem to have misplaced my wallet.”_ _

__Colonel Elric snorted. “Fuck that, I can afford to feed you, you eat like a damn bird. Order something.”_ _

__Well, who was he to refuse free food? Though how would he know how much Roy tended to eat? Rude. Maybe Roy ate like a hog, it would serve the Colonel right for assuming. He was right, Roy usually kept to lighter meals, but still._ _

__Over dinner, Roy managed to learn several more things about his companion, but nothing else about the situation he was in. He learned not to call Colonel Elric ‘Colonel Elric’ or by his rank at all for that matter, and that while ‘Fullmetal’ was acceptable, ‘Edward’ or ‘Ed’ was preferred and ‘Eddie’ was only if he wished to die painfully in short order._ _

__He learned that along with Edward, he would be staying with the alchemist’s younger brother Al and an indeterminate number of cats. Apparently, Al had a weakness for stray cats, and Edward had a weakness for his brother._ _

__Roy also learned to avoid any and all terms that might allude to the Colonel’s height, if he wished to save his eardrums. Thankfully, he was not the one to make the mistake giving him this knowledge. That poor waiter might never be the same._ _

__Edward’s manners indicated that he possibly was raised in a barn and may have been concealing a hollow leg, given how much he put away over the course of the meal._ _

__He was also quite possibly the most brilliant alchemist Roy had ever met or would again._ _

__It started with a brief aside during a tirade about Ed’s most recent mission that Roy wasn’t sure he had the clearance to hear. It was only a brief comment about how most people were complete idiots because arrays involving anything from the Earth as an element shouldn’t place it at the top of the array because it destabilized the whole thing. Instead the sigil to represent the element should be put at the bottom for stability or otherwise they were just asking for backlash in Edward’s opinion and deserved what they got._ _

__Roy ventured to mention that he had heard that so long as the order of the elements was the same, it didn’t matter where they were placed in relation to cardinal directions. It quickly devolved into something that was half loud argument and half derisive lecture and taught Roy more about alchemy in a few short hours than years of intensive study had._ _

__He wished he had some paper and a pen, so that he could take notes._ _

__

__After dinner found them walking up the steps to a modest third-floor apartment near the base, still talking alchemy. It wasn’t until a voice called out a greeting from inside the apartment that Roy even realized they’d arrived, he’d been so caught up in the discussion._ _

__Ed led the way into the apartment, not even looking back as he casually held the door for Roy to follow him in. “Hey Al, you’re never gonna guess what happened to me today!”_ _

__The voice that must be Ed’s little brother called from the other room, “Did you blow up another building brother?”_ _

__“Hey! I haven’t blown up a building in _months._ ” Ed said, throwing his bag on the couch before turning to hang his coat on a hook by the door. He kicked off his heavy boots with twin thuds, and then pointed a commanding finger at Roy. “Shoes off, Mustang.”_ _

__A young man with similar coloring to Edward came out of an open entrance to the right of the living room. He had to be Al, Edward’s little brother. He stopped short once he caught sight of Roy though, and Roy took the opportunity to introduce himself, nodding to him politely across the room. “Corporal Roy Mustang, at your service.”_ _

__“Alphonse Elric.” he returned faintly, before turning to his brother and saying accusingly, “What did you _do_ , brother?”_ _

__“I didn’t _do_ anything!” Edward shrieked._ _

__Alphonse didn’t say anything, but it was an _extremely doubting_ silence._ _

__“I didn’t! I went to the office to turn in a report and he was like that when I got there! I had nothing to do with it!”_ _

__The silence stretched, emphasizing his doubt. Alphonse was very eloquent with his silences._ _

__“Look, Al- if you don’t believe me, look at these reports I got from the guys at the office! You wouldn’t doubt _Hawkeye_ , would you?” Edward said, digging through his bag frantically, pulling out the reports he had gotten at the base from Captain Hawkeye’s team. He also pulled out the entire stack of notes he’d made while they were there, which was a hefty pile of paper and nothing to scoff at._ _

__Alphonse took the entire stack from where Edward had been thrusting them into his face and skimmed over a few, before eying up Roy and then his brother contemplatively._ _

__“I see.” Al sighed, before he turned to Roy and asked, “Do you have everything you’ll need for a few nights’ stay, sir?”_ _

__“I’m afraid not. I have nothing other than what I’m wearing right now.” Roy said, with a put-upon rueful smile._ _

__Al nodded, like that was exactly what he’d expected, before telling Roy that he had some old clothes they might be able to alter to fit him. If he’d like to get out of his uniform that was, and if he didn’t mind hand-me-downs, and while he was at it he’d give him a tour of the apartment._ _

__Clearly he was the nicer and more polite brother._ _

__Roy felt he’d rather be sitting on the couch with Ed, bickering over alchemy, but Edward had buried himself in his notes again and took no notice of anything around him until night had fallen._ _

__Even then he continued reading. One of the cats crawled all over him and settled on the small of his back to take a nap and he didn’t so much as shift a muscle, except to turn the page._ _

__

__The next day didn’t actually start until mid-morning, because apparently, Ed had been up all hours last night trying to solve the problem. Roy on the other hand had been awake since dawn, a remnant from basic training._ _

__He wasn’t going to wake Ed up and insist that they get working, not least because he didn’t have the rank necessary to get away with that even if the Colonel didn’t seem to care about rank. Ed being rather volatile and entirely likely to get revenge also was a factor._ _

__Roy tried taking advantage of the fact that Alphonse had gone out immediately after breakfast to take a look at some of the notes, but it went straight over his head. He recognized elements, and sometimes even whole paragraphs made sense, but most of it was alchemy of a complexity far beyond his caliber._ _

__He was a little miffed at himself, honestly. He’d thought he was fairly advanced in his studies, but this was proving him wrong._ _

__The first thing Ed did after gulping down some breakfast was head over to the Central Library that one could only access if they were State Alchemists. Or accompanied by State Alchemists apparently, as Ed sauntered in straight past the guards, Roy in his wake, which didn’t merit so much as a second glance once they recognized the Fullmetal Alchemist._ _

__Ed stormed around from shelf to shelf and all corners of the building, gathering an impressive assortment of books before staking out a table near a window with two chairs and dumping the entire pile on the scratched wood surface. Roy was impressed by the size of the pile for more than one reason._ _

__That many books would be difficult to get through in one day for any scholar, but it was clear that Edward had every intention of getting through them all before they left. Also, they must have been incredibly heavy, and Roy had no idea how the shorter man had managed to lift them all without staggering at all. Roy would have been hard-pressed to do so._ _

__He’d offered to help carry them out of politeness, but that had only gotten him a thoroughly disparaging look and a dismissive snort accompanied by an elaborate roll of the eyes, and all told, he felt thoroughly lectured and Edward hadn’t had to say a word._ _

__Once he’d gathered all his materials, he’d sat Roy in the chair on the other side of the table, given him a much smaller stack, and told him to look through them for anything involving the phoenix or maybe a water matrix, he wasn’t sure yet._ _

__Obligingly, Roy sat and flipped through book after book, showing Edward every time he found something even tangentially related. Overall, he didn’t find much and going by Edward’s increasingly frustrated scowl, he hadn’t either. And then he got to skim even more books as Edward got up, ran another circuit around the library and returned with another impressively intimidating pile of literature. Possibly even larger than the first._ _

__Joy. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever crammed so much studying into one session in his entire life before, but he would be glad if could avoid doing so ever again if it would be all the same, thanks._ _

__There came a point in which one could have absorbed _too much_ knowledge all at once, and your head could hold no more, leaving you feeling oddly empty and foolish with an aching head and sore eyes. Roy had hit that saturation point of new knowledge quite a few volumes of dry material ago._ _

__He turned over every book he found with any reference to whatever strange things Edward demanded, and tried not to be distracted by how Edward would bite his lip when getting into an interesting section. It was something he struggled with a lot over the passing hours._ _

__Late in the evening, well after it became clear that Edward had no intention of breaking for lunch and well after dinner time, Roy’s stomach let out an embarrassing growl. Edward blinked up at him from the book he was looking through, and his frizzy halo of bangs surrounding his inquisitive gold eyes in the dimming sunlight coming in from the window was enough to make Roy’s heart skip a beat._ _

__Thankfully, he seemed to attribute the faint blush on Roy’s cheeks to embarrassment over the noise his stomach had let out and didn’t comment on it. He pulled out a watch to check the time and grimaced comically at what he saw._ _

__“Shit, I forgot to eat again… C’mon Mustang, be useful and help gather up all this shit, we’re gonna be late for dinner.”_ _

__So it was that Roy found himself trailing behind Edward once again like a duckling, following in the hope of food, arms full of papers._ _

__“Where are we going, sir?” he managed to ask._ _

__Edward threw a disapproving look his way, even though he had to turn around, walk backwards, _and_ look up to do so. The latter of which Roy knew not to mention. “Thought I told you to cut it out with that ‘sir’ bullshit.”_ _

__“Habit, si- that is, it’s merely a habit to be polite to people who out-rank me.” Roy said, trying to focus more of his attention on not stumbling when the street turned to cobblestone than on how the sun coming over his shoulder looked glinting off Edward’s hair. It was even brighter outdoors, and just as distracting._ _

__Edward harrumphed and spun around to stride forward again, boots ringing on the cobblestones. Roy told himself that he wasn’t disappointed he couldn’t see Edward’s eyes anymore._ _

__

__Two similar days later, Roy was ready to collapse where he stood. How did Edward do so much research on so little sleep? They’d fallen into a routine of sorts in the time that Roy had been staying with the Elric brothers, but he didn’t know if a whole year spent in their company would be time enough to adjust to Edward’s sleep schedule._ _

__He must have looked just as tired as he felt, because Alphonse had been shooting him increasingly concerned looks lately._ _

__Edward was outlining his most recent line of research to an audience of a barely-awake Roy, Alphonse, and at least three cats over breakfast when his younger brother interrupted him._ _

__“Brother, have you been sleeping?”_ _

__“-An’ then, of course, the vertices intersect- wait. What? Al- I don’t- why would you even ask that? I haven’t gotten dizzy yet or anything even! No black outs when I stand up, I’m not jittery, no little black skittery things in the edges of my vision that aren’t really there-” He looked as though he would gladly go on defending himself with more worrying phrases, but Alphonse interrupted him again._ _

__“Brother, have you been making Col- Major Mustang stay up with you while you study?”_ _

__Edward looked struck dumb for a moment. Roy wasn’t sure, because he was still trying to emerge from the haze the world had become. “...Nooo,” he said slowly, drawing it out as his left hand fiddled with his glass of orange juice. “I haven’t been _making_ him, he’s always… just kinda… there?”_ _

__“Brother.” Alphonse said, tone admonishing._ _

__“Hey, Mustang.” Ed snapped, more gently than usual._ _

__Roy drew in a deep breath, soaking in the aroma of coffee that was lurking in the kitchen somewhere, if only he had enough energy to get up and hunt it down. “Wha?” he managed._ _

__“Mustang, have you been sleeping?”_ _

__Roy leaned back in his chair, pressing his shoulders to the hard wooden back and blinking hard to try and focus on his fingers where they gripped the edge of the table. Maybe just the smell of coffee would wake him up? It didn’t seem to be working so far, but it was worth a try, right?_ _

__“Mustang.” Ed said again, and he sounded lost._ _

__That got through to Roy, and he said, “I’ve been sleeping when we’re done with research for the- for the day.”_ _

__He almost missed the glance that passed between the two brothers, but he didn’t miss Edward sitting down across from him at the table and reaching out to lightly tap the back of one of his hands. “Mustang, you know you don’t have to try’n stay awake all the time to keep up with me, right?”_ _

__That woke him up a little more. “I can help.”_ _

__Edward sent another look over to Alphonse, but he kept his mouth shut and just nodded encouragingly at him. Edward swallowed, and ran a hand over his face and back through his loose hair. He cleared his throat and said, “You _are_ helping. I’m not saying you can’t. I’m saying you need to take care of yourself.”_ _

__Roy knew he was whining, but he couldn’t stop himself. “ _You’re_ up all hours working on this and hardly ever taking breaks for anything, I can do it too.”_ _

__Alphonse huffed. “He has a point you know.”_ _

__“Shut it Al.” Ed snapped, before turning back to Roy. “Look, I’m used to that kind of workload. That’s basically how I always work. You don’t need to work yourself to exhaustion just to try and keep up with me. No one can, anyway.”_ _

__“Can too.” Roy muttered mutinously, sliding down a little in his chair so it wouldn't hurt his shoulders anymore._ _

__“Huh.” Ed said with a little huff, a half-smile playing around his lips. It was the last thing Roy saw before he fell asleep._ _

__

__Things after that slowed down, a bit. Just enough that they were eating more than one meal a day, and even sleeping for almost twice the length of time they’d been managing before. It turned out to help, because Roy didn’t think he’d have caught the mention of an array that could solve their problems without getting a proper night’s rest and good nutrition._ _

__It was a very exciting and promising discovery, if Edward’s fast-paced exclamations were anything to go by._ _

__Even more promising; after pulling two more books to double-check the information, Edward checked out all three books and marched the two of them back to the apartment to show the array to Alphonse, who seemed to be just as excited._ _

__From what Roy understood, it seemed likely that between the two of them, they would work out a way to solve the problem they’d been frantically searching for an answer to for the past few weeks._ _

__Sure enough, two hours later, Edward was exclaiming, “We’ve got it!”_ _

__That was good, he hoped._ _

__

__Given that a half-hour later, he was back in the office he’d started the whole adventure in, he supposed it was. It turned out, the solution to their problem was rather anti-climatic. Not that he’d managed to figure out what, exactly, was the problem._ _

__Roy was firmly, but not unkindly, ordered to sit out of the way in the same chair as before by the Riza lookalike. He watched as the desks were cleared to the edges of the room, and Ed, without a word to anyone, began to scribble down a complex array far beyond Roy’s understanding. It was a state of being he’d become rather used to while staying with the brilliant young alchemist._ _

__When the rather large array was done, Ed stood to give it a final once over. Alphonse came over so a fresh set of eyes could confirm every line was in the correct place, which they were. Nothing was even a fraction of a degree off, or so Al said._ _

__Once everything was checked and double-checked, Ed imperiously beckoned Roy over to the center of the array, which got him a shove from Al and a chiding remark of, “He’s not a dog, brother! You don’t need to be so rude!”_ _

__Roy wanted to answer to reassure Al that he didn’t mind and perhaps get a dig in at Ed, since if he was a ‘dog of the military’ then at least so was Ed-_ _

__but he was out of time._ _

__The instant he was in place, Al kneeled to touch gloved fingers to the outer edge of the array and activate it._ _

__The flash of alchemical reaction consumed everything- the room, Ed’s golden hair, Riza-but-not’s worried gaze, Al’s encouraging smile, the murmurs of “Good luck.” from the other soldiers in the room. Everything was covered by blue-white sparks._ _

__

__“Well? Did it work?” Jean’s voice asked loudly._ _

__Roy’s temples pounded. He hoped he hadn’t been the target of some practical joke- he hadn’t had a hangover this bad in years, mainly because he’d stopped drinking when Edward was due in the next day. Due to Edward’s unpredictability in showing up to report, he’d cut down on drinking as a whole out of self-defense._ _

__Speaking of, there was his voice now, screeching. “ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT MY WORK IS SUB-PAR?!”_ _

__Roy had never been so glad to be past Edward’s pubescent years, because as it was, his shriek was merely ‘shrill’ rather than ‘ear-piercing’._ _

__Without thinking, Roy whined, “Please keep it down, Fullmetal.”_ _

__That did not help him calm down._ _

__A few minutes later, once Edward’s hysterics were calmed, Roy finally had a chance to take stock of the situation. His office was a mess, the furniture discarded along the walls, and a large array was written all over the brand-new flooring they’d just had installed last month. In chalk, thankfully._ _

__A glance at Riza confirmed that whatever it was that had taken place here, the situation was either resolved or under her firm control. She smiled back at him fondly, shoulders loose and relaxed._ _

__“Someone explain to me what happened here, please.” Roy stated to the room full of his team pleasantly._ _

__Unexpectedly, Edward obliged with no fuss._ _

__“Fucking Bastard, you let some two-bit cockneyed _hack_ of a wannabe-alchemist get the drop on you, is what happened!”_ _

__Unsurprisingly, he made little sense._ _

__“I thought I was ‘ _Führer_ Bastard’ now, Edward?”_ _

__“You can go back to being Führer Bastard when you stop being stupid! It wasn’t even raining numbnuts, ain’t you supposed to only be useless when you’re wet?”_ _

__Well. What to make of that, Roy wondered. Thankfully, Riza stepped forward to explain with her usual efficiency, a hand resting on the butt of her pistol, a gentle reminder to behave._ _

__A former State Alchemist had been unhappy with Roy’s decisions and attacked him with an experimental array that had reversed him physically and mentally to a much younger version of himself. It sounded like something out of fiction, not real life._ _

__A lot of his life sounded like something out of fiction._ _

__After hearing the whole story, Roy still didn’t know what to make of it. While he’d been… indisposed, and under the Elric brothers’ care- which made sense, as they were the best and most trustworthy alchemists at hand, the nation had not stopped without him._ _

__His team had worked frantically around the clock to ensure that nothing went off the rails in his absence while also conducting a very thorough investigation into his attacker’s background to find out how and why such an event had come to pass and whether or not there was likely to be a repeat._ _

__Riza had run rings around the upper brass to keep them from questioning too strongly where the Führer had gone, while staying with Edward and Alphonse kept him out of the public eye and well-protected._ _

__If Maes was still with them, he’d have said something sappy about them all coming together and protecting each other like one big, happy, family. Sitting behind his desk, replaced in its proper spot, listening to Ed berate him lightly for his incompetence while Al smiled at him, Roy thought he might be right._ _

__Riza cleared her throat warningly from her spot behind him, and Edward’s yelling suddenly got a lot quieter and a lot less frantic._ _

__Roy hid a smile behind folded hands._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I could not decide on whether or not I could/should write a RoyEd, and so therefore, you are all left with a one-sided crush from bby!Mustang on early-twenties!Ed. Whether or not Adult!Furher!Mustang and early-twenties!Ed have a thing, well that’s up to you. I think Royai is just as likely, if not more so.  
> Also, Adult!Mustang may or may not be the Führer, so take Ed’s stumbling over ‘fu-fucking bastard’ in the sentence of ‘fuck’ in the beginning how you will.  
> Also-also, I have a tumblr (serpensortia-parapluie) I keep forgetting to mention. Come visit, tell me what to do with a writing tumblr. Maybe even prompt me. Who knows what’ll happen.  
> AND ONE MORE THING: I had a lot more italics in here, and even went through and added the html to the word doc before I ctrl+p'd it here, but it seems most of them have vanished and I'm too tired to go fiddle with it. I might come back and fix that one day.


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